Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let’s Talk About Food
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***
Michael has issues with food. Especially foods of the green variety. If someone were to drop him in the middle of a garden that spread for miles, he would be found dead days later. Of starvation.
Though I went through my own “food comes from a box” phase as a teen, my roots (buh duh dun) go back to grandma’s garden, eating vegetables before they even made it to the dinner table.
When Michael wrinkles his face at spinach, and tells me about cans of slimy cooked crap that he had to stare at for hours I’m horrified. Spinach is a tender, leafy, delicious treat! How could anyone do that to an innocent spinach plant!
Needless to say, food is a bit of a war in our house. Michael is convinced that all vegetables taste as bad as the cooked crap he was served as a child, and he refuses to even take one bite to see if it may be different. And I am convinced that if he doesn’t stop saying how nasty broccoli is at the dinner table I may have to smack him. It’s hard enough to try to fight off the mainstream food issues and McDonald’s commercials without also having to counter dad at the table.
Despite it all, the kids tend to eat all right. I serve the food, and they can choose to eat it or not. They’ve been known to ask for carrots over chips, to grab fruit instead of candy, and a neighbor once called me over just to express how shocked she was that my kids say “no thanks” to soda and asked for water.
Which isn’t to say they always make the best food choices. Every time we leave the house they beg to go out to eat, mostly to get another cheap plastic toy. They drool over candy bars in the checkout line every time we go shopping. And last week at the farmers market they managed to talk me into a whole box of cookies a woman was selling.
Even when I don’t like it, I choose not to make food a fight with my kids. I don’t want them to have the same memories as their father, hours at the table staring down a pile of food they hate. If they don’t want what I make, it goes into the fridge and they can have it for lunch tomorrow. Or I’ll eat it for lunch. Or it gets reused into a new meal (leftover pasta casserole combined with leftover spaghetti sauce was pretty yummy).
Forcing them to eat will only make them into grownup versions of their father, still raging against family dinners long since past. I’d rather they take after me, and grow up loving nature’s salad bar.
***
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated July 13 with all the carnival links.)
- Welcome to Two — All About Food — In case you hadn’t heard, there is a conspiracy afoot from the two-year-olds of the world. Shana at Tales of Minor Interest stumbled onto their newsletter!
- Four Seasons of Eating Locally — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has pointers for what fresh produce can be found year-round. (@MBJunction)
- Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has figured out a way for her family to live happily as vegans and vegetarians with relatives who eat meat. (@DebChitwood)
- My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante prioritizes responsible consumer choices for her family.
- No Gluten — No Cry — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma learned to cook balanced meals when her son’s food sensitivities prompted a diet overhaul. (@kitchenwitch)
- Try, Try Again — Stefanie at very very fine has become an enthusiastic consumer of locally grown food.
- CSA — Week 1 — Casey at What Love Is wants her children to know where their food comes from, so she joined a friendly CSA. (@CBerbs)
- Food: Parenting or Homemaking? — Michelle at The Parent Vortex sees food as part of a parent’s nurturing role. (@TheParentVortex)
- 5 Tips to Help Kids Develop Healthy Eating Habits — If you struggle with healthy eating, helping your child develop healthy habits might be a challenge. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips that will help your kids learn to make good food choices. (@CodeNameMama)
- Family Food: Seeking Balance Between Healthy, Sustainable & Affordable — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings has a whole list of ideas for how she can improve her family’s eating, both now and into the future. (@sunfrog)
- Whole Foods in, Wholesome Feelings Out — Jessica at This is Worthwhile has turned her back on the processed, preservative-ridden food of her childhood. (@tisworthwhile)
- When to Splurge on Organic (and When It Is Okay to Skip It) — Becoming Mamas tell you what foods to prioritize when buying pricier organic food, and where you can find it cheaper. (@becomingmamas)
- A Locavore’s Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.
- Eat Your Food, or Else — Why should we not bribe a child to eat? TwinToddlersDad from Littlestomaks (Science Driven Real Life Toddler Nutrition) explains. (@TwinToddlersDad)
- Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her family has started eating healthier. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Celebrating Food — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes in food as medicine and thinks it’s worth paying more to keep healthy. (@myzerowaste)
- Oil and Yogurt — What have you been motivated to do with the current oil spill crisis? midnightfeedings has started making her own yogurt. (@midnightfeeding)
- Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA “Beannut Stew”) — BeanMa has a special stew to help her baby through growth spurts that keep her up all night. (@thebeanma)
- Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the “real food” philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)
- Feeding a Family of Six — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children gives helpful tips for feeding a family of six.
- Starting Solids at 6 Months — Did your doctor recommend that you give your baby cereal? Sheryl at Little Snowflakes discusses how whole foods are so much healthier (and more delicious) than traditional cereal. (@sheryljesin)
- Am I What I Eat? — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has figured out a way to avoid grocery stores nearly altogether.
- Are We Setting Our Kids Up To Fail? — Megan at Purple Dancing Dahlias found that cutting out the junk also transformed her sons’ behavior problems.
- Changing your family’s way of eating — Lauren at Hobo Mama has techniques you can try to move your family gradually toward a healthier diet. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Real Food — What kinds of fake foods do you eat? And why?! Lisa C. at My World Edenwild talks about why she chooses real food.
- A Snackaholic’s Food Battle — Julie at Simple Life wants to stop snacking and get into the old ways of cooking from scratch and raising her own food. (@homemakerjulie)
- Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm)
- How Do You Eat When You Are out of Town? — Cassie at There’s a Pickle In My Life wants some tips on how to eat healthy when you are out of town.
- Carnival of Natural Parenting: Food! — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker hopes that by serving her children healthy, balanced meals, they will become accustomed to making good food choices. (@sybilryan)
- There’s No Food Like Home’s — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing revels in the Bajan food of her upbringing. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- This Mom’s Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.
- Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)
- Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family’s medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.
- Food Mindfulness — Danielle at born.in.japan details how her family spends money on each category of food. (@borninjp)
- Food for Little People — Zoey at Good Goog wants to bless her daughter with happy traditions built around good food. (@zoeyspeak)
- Eat Like a Baby — Have you been told that you should not equate food with love? Kate Wicker at Momopoly shows us why that’s not necessarily true. (@Momopoly)
- Food — Deb at Science@Home tries to teach her children three rules to help them eat a healthy diet. (@ScienceMum)
- Healthy Eating Lactose-Free — MamanADroit gives us tips on how to eat healthy if you are lactose intolerant (or just don’t want cow milk). (@MamanADroit)
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Lauren @ Hobo Mama
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 6:36 AM:
I really love your message here, and it sounds like you’re doing great with inspiring your kids to make their own decisions regarding food. The testimony that they’ll choose carrots and water over treats attests to that! I agree that from my own experiences as a child and witnessing others’, it seems like coercion around food only backfires.
Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last blog ..July Carnival of Natural Parenting- Changing your familys way of eating
Eat Your Food or Else | LittleStomaks
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 6:46 AM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
feeding a family of six… « living peacefully with children
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 7:50 AM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 7:51 AM:
I totally agree that forcing kids to eat will do more harm than good. It’s better to offer a variety of healthy foods and let them have at it
It is frustrating to have another adult undermine your efforts though, I get after my husband for all of the soda. (sigh) I wonder if there is a way to bargain our hubbies into better food choices . . .
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last blog ..Breastfeeding State Law Cards
No Gluten- No Cry | Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 8:43 AM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Maman A Droit
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 9:13 AM:
My Hubby hates fruit (pretty much all fruit-he’ll eat blueberries willingly, or strawberries or apples if absolutely forced. That’s it though) so I’ve already told him that he is forbidden from ever telling our kids that fruit is “icky” or anything along those lines. It’s going to be tough though to convince him not to follow Daddy’s example. Sounds like you are doing a great job of inspiring your kids to choose healthy foods for themselves!
Maman A Droit´s last blog ..They Dont Stay Little Long
When to Splurge on Organic (and when it is okay to skip it) « Becoming Mamas
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 10:15 AM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Jana
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 11:07 AM:
Another great post Summer! I love your attitude with your children regarding food! My kids also ask for water over soda and I love my diet coke so wow!
My husband and I also have the attitude that we don’t force our kids to clear their plates. We do ask they at least try everything but we don’t force them to finish. If they are full, we would rather they stop than continue to eat just to clear the plate.
Donations Pouring into East End Pet Food Pantry | Eclipse Twilight
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 12:39 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight | Finding Summer Spread the love: [...]
Melodie
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 1:43 PM:
I hear you Summer! My husband likes his veggies a lot but he loves processed foods and will eat a frozen meal or a can of soup over what I’ve made homemade, and it drives me nuts! I’m a good cook and he knows it but his body craves this other crap and the kids see him eating it and I worry that as they grow up they will decide to just eat whatever they want and not eat my food anymore either. I don’t battle him too much about it because when I have he gets pretty defensive, but I would like to sit down with him one day and express myself and have him listen to me so that he might stop buying these foods. (Since I won’t buy them on our grocery shops he goes out and buys them himself.)
Melodie´s last blog ..Why I Love The Real Food Community
Growth-Spurt Soup (AKA “Beannut Stew”) « BeanMa
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 2:03 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Happy Families Can Have More Than One Diet | LivingMontessoriNow.com
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 2:17 PM:
[...] Food, NotFight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like herhusband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
My Own Omnivore’s Dilemma: no acceptable solution « The Practical Dilettante
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 3:36 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Lisa C
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 4:41 PM:
As a child I was forced to sit and finish meals that made me gag or that I was simply not hungry enough to finish, though this was mainly because my mom thought I was too skinny. Thankfully, I was a smart and adventurous kid and learned to like many foods. It might have helped that my mom didn’t force specific foods on me all the time. No one should be forced to eat foods they find disgusting. I think we should be able to trust our palates, and eating gross food in counter-intuitive.
Lisa C´s last blog ..Real Food
Why I Love The Real Food Community | Breastfeeding Moms Unite
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 5:10 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
try, try again « very, very fine
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 5:35 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Starting Solids at 6 Months | Little Snowflakes
on Jul 13th, 2010
@ 8:09 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Food, Glorious Food! : Diary of a First Child
on Jul 14th, 2010
@ 9:10 AM:
[...] 13, 2010 at 8:05 pm Food, Not Fight | Finding Summer [...] Food, Glorious Food! — Luschka at Diary of a First Child describes three easy ways her [...]
Food — Science@home
on Jul 14th, 2010
@ 5:57 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
Beanma
on Jul 14th, 2010
@ 11:39 PM:
What do you do about a significant other who eats at Taco Bell. Who thinks Yoohoos are okay to drink. Who says “yuck” to fresh herbs, who thinks up things like chocolate cotton candy and has strong opinions about tater tots.
Lord help me.
Beanma´s last blog ..Growth-Spurt Soup AKA “Beannut Stew”
There’s No Food Like Home’s « Navelgazing
on Jul 15th, 2010
@ 4:35 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight — Summer at Finding Summer doesn’t want her kids to grow up like her husband: hating everything green. (@summerm) [...]
NavelgazingBajan
on Jul 15th, 2010
@ 5:39 PM:
I think my husband would also die of starvation if he were stranded in a garden for a few days. The only exception would be if broccoli and white button mushrooms were growing there…oh and if a rabbit happened to wander by.
I definitely do agree with you about not forcing kids to eat. I’d rather model good eating habits and have good, whole food available for my son to choose from.
NavelgazingBajan´s last blog ..There’s No Food Like Home’s
Sybil
on Jul 15th, 2010
@ 6:07 PM:
I love, love, love the “crazy” idea of not fighting with your kids over their food choices. I believe in serving healthy foods and leaving the rest up to them.
Kids that are fed healthful, tasty options from the get-go are at such an advantage over people like your husband!
Food for Little People — Good Goog
on Jul 15th, 2010
@ 6:40 PM:
[...] Food, Not Fight | Finding Summer [...]
Sevan
on Jul 17th, 2010
@ 2:50 PM:
A very very good message! Well worth the forethought. Definitly. Ermm…there’s a little something that’s happened that’s kept me from reading your blog recently. The text spills over into the ads at the right side. I figured it was just my screen but it stays that way if I change the resolution, and it’s that way on my work computer too. So I figured I’d make mention.
Sevan´s last blog ..Adult tutus are loaded in the Etsy shop!
Rose
on Jul 17th, 2010
@ 3:54 PM:
I’m the world’s fussiest eater and for me, spinach is a texture thing – so I make sure I eat it in forms of spinach lasagne and tortellini etc
Also having the screen thing here
Rose´s last blog ..Personal Notes- Vulnerability in Space